Rules: (1) Pick your own categories, and (2) The synopses are, obviously, the funnest part.

Best Reread: Crime and Punishment, by Fyodor Dostoevsky. First time reading the Pevear/Volokhonsky translation. Oh man that Svidrigailov is creeptastic. And how did I not mention Razumikhin on that 15-fictional-characters meme? Six-word synopsis: Everyone loves you — stop killing people.

Longest/Hippest: Infinite Jest, by David Foster Wallace. About 1000 pages and almost certainly worth it, especially for the AA bits, not to mention Madame Psychosis. Six-word synopsis: AA, tennis, and one ingenious suicide.

Silliest: Stranger in a Strange Land, by Robert Heinlein. Just as well I didn’t get hold of this book ten or fifteen years ago, when I might have not realized it was utter crap, but fairly entertaining utter crap. Six-word synopsis: Martian teaches consciousness-raising screwing techniques.

Most Inspiring: The Cross and the Switchblade, by David Wilkerson. Six-word synopsis: Wow, Jesus really meant those things.

Gut-Rippingest: The Kite Runner, by Khaled Hosseini. Sure the ending’s a little Hollywood, but I haven’t felt that compellingly miserable since A Separate Peace. Six-word synopsis: Sure glad I’m not that guy.

Still Haven’t Read: To Kill a Mockingbird, by Harper Lee. That is who it’s by, right? Six-word synopsis: I wouldn’t know, now would I?

Just Plain Best: Clockers, by Richard Price. Fans of The Wire, take note — Price also wrote a handful of episodes for the show, and I loved about this book exactly what I love about it. Six-word synopsis: One lovable felon, one heartbreaking cop.